Tempers were flaring at this point. We practically couldn't say one nice word to one another. We were basically at our whit's end. What is there a couple to do??
Seek Council of a higher power? No, not at first we didn't go to God, but to our pastor. We were super honest with him. I mean if we really wanted to work this thing out then we NEEDED to just put it out all on the table. Hang our dirty laundry out for him to tell us where the stains are.
This was not easy or fun. But, our pastor is such a Godly man and we needed that, as both of us, obviously, were not seeking God's will at this time.
So, you really wanna stayed married?
Blank stares from us and then a resounding YES!
The healing process was to begin. It was hard seeing where we were both needed some work. And, by work I am a lot of work!!! I was determined I didn't want to be divorced again.
Here is where God really showed up in our lives. No longer were we seeking the have things our way but, to have things go Gods way. This was difficult because it was so easy to forget to seek Him, and time and time again I would need to be brought back to the place where I want Him to guide my heart.
We started reading our bibles, we starting praying and things started changing. For the Good. I will admit sometimes, even to this day, I will let pride get the better of me, but I then have to go before God.
I noticed my hubby was more compassionate and not so easily angered. I thought I wanna be like that. So, I watched him, studied him, and spied on him. I needed to be where he was at this point.
We have been married for 5 years now and I must say that everyday God brings us closer and closer. Don't get me wrong, we still don't always see eye to eye, but we now no longer feel it has to be his/my way. We talk about it, we pray about it, and we listen to each other.
I am so thankful/blessed for the relationship we have today!!! I know NOW above all else that God can change people. God still does miracles!!!
Beautifly Blended
"Like clay in the hand of the potter, so you are in My hands." God said. Jeremiah 18:6
18 November 2013
14 November 2013
In the Beginning
When God created me for my hubby. I met my dear hubs at my job, unbeknownst to me I would marry a man that is almost a foot shorter than me, but lust was in the air. I say lust because really and truly love was not on my mind when I met him. During our dating season, we had LOTS of up and downs, well mostly downs. He would keep breaking up with me and I well, wouldn't wait around for him to make up his mind. Until one day I had, had enough. I wanted to settle this thing once and for all. I wanted to know if he really wanted to be with me or just let me be. Honestly I wanted him to let me be, only because I thought that it would be much easier that way, But, God had different plan in mind.
At this point in my life I was a new babe in Christ and well I just wasn't sure of what all His word said.I really wasn't sure if God really made plans like that for people like me. Boy did I have a lot to learn and still do. Everyday God teaches me something new, and oh how I love Him for that.
Anyway back to the story at hand. My hubs and I talked it out and figured we would go ahead and give it a try, no more breaking up, no more dating other people. Monogamous. For me at that time was a hard word to live by. See, I had only be divorced for about 2 years when I met my sweet hubs. I wasn't sure if this is really was what I wanted, but I was going to give it a try. And try we did, because not long into our monogamous relationship did my feelings for him really begin to develop.
Then, one day I let the "L" word slip out and you know at that point he will either say he does or play it off like he didn't hear. And I was so hoping that he would play it off. But, he didn't. He just sat there and stared at me!! NOT very intimidating now is it? My first thought was to run, run far away; for pete's sake say something!!!! As, I sat there looking at him like a deer in headlights, he said it back. Yes that's right he told me he loved me. I was like you don't have to say anything. I totally understand if you are shocked because I am too.
On May 31, 2008 we said our I DO's in the back yard if our church. It was beautiful and cheap. My kinda wedding!!!
Back from the honeymoon, is when the real "fun" began.**** This next part is really a testimony of how God can really work in your life****
See, my hubby and I had both been married before and we both had kids/kid from our previous marriages. I don't really know how to explain it, but in my first marriage, he and I raised the kids with the same attitude. It wasn't like we sat down one day and said this is how we are going to do this, it just worked out that way. Small blessing. However, I would assume the same for my hubs and his ex. But, when you bring two people with kids together, things can surely fly.
I raised my kids one way and he raised his kid his way, and that was how our 1st year of marriage began. As, I have explained before I only get my kids every other week and we have Bro all the time. So, this was a huge adjustment to me. I have someone else's kid with me 24/7 and mine only every other week. This was hard!!!
I cried most of the time. I yelled most of the time, and I was miserable most of the time. Our first year was the hardest. There were some knock down drag out times and great screaming matches. You would have loved to have popcorn and a seat at some of these, I assure you! Nothing like dinner and a show.
I was for sure I knew the better way to raise a child than a single father would. I mean I was a mom of two, who had been married almost 5 years. I was a pro by my standards. But, let me be transparent with you for a moment. I was a yeller. I grew up being yelled at and that was the way I was. If something didn't go my way I would yell, and still do at times, but the Lord is working on me. I yell less now then when I did. My hubs on the other hand was NOT a yeller. He was a talk to ya kinda guy. I thought WOW he will never get through to him if he continues to talk like that.
But, then one day something happened and I, for first time, heard my hubs yelling at one of my kids. Oh no he didn't I was hot and from that day on I had made my mind up that divorce would be next.......
At this point in my life I was a new babe in Christ and well I just wasn't sure of what all His word said.I really wasn't sure if God really made plans like that for people like me. Boy did I have a lot to learn and still do. Everyday God teaches me something new, and oh how I love Him for that.
Anyway back to the story at hand. My hubs and I talked it out and figured we would go ahead and give it a try, no more breaking up, no more dating other people. Monogamous. For me at that time was a hard word to live by. See, I had only be divorced for about 2 years when I met my sweet hubs. I wasn't sure if this is really was what I wanted, but I was going to give it a try. And try we did, because not long into our monogamous relationship did my feelings for him really begin to develop.
Then, one day I let the "L" word slip out and you know at that point he will either say he does or play it off like he didn't hear. And I was so hoping that he would play it off. But, he didn't. He just sat there and stared at me!! NOT very intimidating now is it? My first thought was to run, run far away; for pete's sake say something!!!! As, I sat there looking at him like a deer in headlights, he said it back. Yes that's right he told me he loved me. I was like you don't have to say anything. I totally understand if you are shocked because I am too.
On May 31, 2008 we said our I DO's in the back yard if our church. It was beautiful and cheap. My kinda wedding!!!
Back from the honeymoon, is when the real "fun" began.**** This next part is really a testimony of how God can really work in your life****
See, my hubby and I had both been married before and we both had kids/kid from our previous marriages. I don't really know how to explain it, but in my first marriage, he and I raised the kids with the same attitude. It wasn't like we sat down one day and said this is how we are going to do this, it just worked out that way. Small blessing. However, I would assume the same for my hubs and his ex. But, when you bring two people with kids together, things can surely fly.
I raised my kids one way and he raised his kid his way, and that was how our 1st year of marriage began. As, I have explained before I only get my kids every other week and we have Bro all the time. So, this was a huge adjustment to me. I have someone else's kid with me 24/7 and mine only every other week. This was hard!!!
I cried most of the time. I yelled most of the time, and I was miserable most of the time. Our first year was the hardest. There were some knock down drag out times and great screaming matches. You would have loved to have popcorn and a seat at some of these, I assure you! Nothing like dinner and a show.
I was for sure I knew the better way to raise a child than a single father would. I mean I was a mom of two, who had been married almost 5 years. I was a pro by my standards. But, let me be transparent with you for a moment. I was a yeller. I grew up being yelled at and that was the way I was. If something didn't go my way I would yell, and still do at times, but the Lord is working on me. I yell less now then when I did. My hubs on the other hand was NOT a yeller. He was a talk to ya kinda guy. I thought WOW he will never get through to him if he continues to talk like that.
But, then one day something happened and I, for first time, heard my hubs yelling at one of my kids. Oh no he didn't I was hot and from that day on I had made my mind up that divorce would be next.......
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