From Passionate about Homemaking..These are not my words but so graciously fit how I feel.
Passionate Homemaking: Digging Out of the Pit of Guilty Motherhood
I failed miserably in my mothering today. Everything from getting coats and
shoes on, to going potty in underwear, to getting out of bed before the proper
time. Each situation was responded to with an outburst of anger and frustration.
I experience guilt on many levels in my motherhood. I feel guilty when my
house isn’t clean, organized, or I don’t have the energy to design all these
glorious organizing tools (thanks Pinterest!
. I feel like a failure when I don’t spend enough quality time with my children
or waste too much time on my phone or computer browsing this and that. I feel
guilty when we don’t do family devotions as if my children’s salvation was all
dependent upon me. I feel like a terrible homemaker when I don’t get anything
done on my to-do list. So in response to my guilt, I get frustrated and the
cycle continues. It’s a dangerous pit of self focus that destroys my joy.
The only means through which we can find deliverance out of this battlefield
of guilt, condemnation, and anger is through the power of the gospel. The only
lasting freedom can come through acknowledging what Christ has done on my
We have to steep ourselves in the power of the gospel. We have to soak it
I have to remind myself that there is no condemnation for those who are in
Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Yes, you and I will surely fail. But we have a
glorious Savior who bore our condemnation. He bore our guilt. It was nailed to
the cross. So in our failure, we can have hope. Christ Jesus has replaced our
sinful record with His perfect righteous record.
As Elyse Fitzpatrick says, “When you are tempted to slide down into a
miry pit of self-condemnation, you can remember Jesus’ sinless life and the
perfect record that is now yours. Yes, it’s true that you sin heinously and
consistently, but you have a perfect record before God, the only one who opinion
“Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are
righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty
for our sins. (Romans 3:24)”
You have a perfect record.
Colossians 1:16-17 says, “The Father…has qualified you
[past tense; it's finished] to share in the inheritance of the
saints in light. He has delivered us [past tense again;
the deliverance is completed] from the domain of darkness and
transferred us [past tense once more: the transferal is already
concluded] to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have [present
tense; this very moment we possess it]
redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”
My outbursts of anger were nailed to the cross before I even walked this
earth. My fear of failure is a waste of my energy. He paid the greatest price
for them. In order to experience true freedom from guilt, I must stop focusing
on all that I need to do in order to become a better mother. I must first turn
my gaze upon what He has already done for me.
The only way to become a better mom is to preach the gospel to myself every
day. It’s not by behaving that makes me a better mom, it’s by believing-
believing more deeply in what He has accomplished.
God doesn’t call me to be perfect. He calls me to embrace my standing before
him, and to run in that freedom he has already granted to me! I am adored by
Christ! I am redeemed! I am accepted!
Ultimately, when I enslave myself by guilt I am mocking what He did on the
cross, I am disbelieving the grace and mercy purchased for me through his
sinless life. This guilt is witness to the fact that I am depending upon my own
strength. I am believing that my children will only grow, flourish, and follow
Christ if I do this certain set of practices.
So when you are tempted to put another brick of guilt on yourself, may I
encourage you to stop, and declare with me:
“Because Jesus was strong for me, I am free to be weak;
because Jesus won
for me, I am free to lose;
because Jesus was someone, I am free to be no
because Jesus was extraordinary, I am free to be ordinary;
Jesus succeeded for me, I am free to fail.” -Tullian Tchividjian
Praise God for the full and abundant life I have in Christ!
Jesus loves me just as much today as He did yesterday!
Many of these insights have been gleaned through Tullian’s powerful book,
+ Nothing = Everything.
So beautifully put.. I had to use this ....